Wow, it's hard to believe it has been an entire week since I last posted an update. I've been kind of boycotting the blog (first unconsciously, then consciously) in hopes that Dave would sit down and type his own update. I keep casually mentioning it to him, pointing out that it's been several days since I've updated, but so far he hasn't shown a lot of interest. It's funny because he feels strongly about me posting regular updates on his blog, yet he hasn't been too keen on taking it over.
Dave's been home for 10 days now. Some days are pretty good and some days are hard. Our sister-in-law and niece were in town for the weekend, and it was really nice to have some help with the kids and with Dave (thanks again Lori and Erin). I think having people in our house encouraged him to stay out of bed more and to do a little more walking and engaging than he otherwise might have done.
Tonight, as I was flushing his IV and getting ready to start his antibiotics, he commented that I must be really lonely. I don't think I've cried for weeks, but I kind of lost it when he said that because, yes, I am lonely. I'm very lonely. But, unfortunately, it's not the kind of lonely that goes away by having a drink with a friend. I am lonely for Dave. I'm tired of sharing my bed, but feeling like I'm sleeping alone. I'm tired of feeling like a single parent when he's at home. I'm tired of putting on the brave face when it's not how I feel. I'm tired of updating his blog when he doesn't even care to read it. Most of all, I'm just tired.
Oh, here's my good news: After four weeks, Molly gets her sassy purple cast off tomorrow morning. Anytime someone asks her when she'll get it off she says, "Two weeks, cast off, two weeks." I think she'll be sorry to see it go. I sure won't. I still have a fat lip from getting backhanded by her last week. I can't even remember what I did that warranted the cast to the face, but I'm sure it was something really terrible like trying to change her diaper. Anyway, that's the fat left side of my lip; the fat right side of my lip is from her big head jumping right into my face. No need for collagen here...
Well, that's it. I'll keep working on Dave to get back on the computer one of these days.
Dave
Smiling Again
9 comments:
Dave and Shannon:
I try to think back on how it must have been for Debbie...people always asking about me and how I was doing, no one really asking about how she was doing. Give him some time Shannon. This is not easy to come back from, his foundations have been shaken. But he will come back and you will no longer be lonely. There are other aspects to consider in the future...it is difficult for someone to go through what Dave has gone through and not be "looking over their shoulder," a bit fearful of the recurrence. This, too, can be trying. But as time goes by those feelings move into the background.
Dave; I know you want to be there 100% as you always have been. But its not wrong to be taking your time to come back. You will be back. I kind of checked out for quite a while...I was eight weeks in the hospital and it seemed at least a month at home before I started moving out of that place the hospital had put me in.
Hang in there and all will be well.
Paul.
I'm glad to see the update, but Shannon, remember to take care of yourself too.
I can't imagine how hard it must be for you; I got annoyed helping my sister with her new baby after only three days. You have so much on your shoulders emotionally and mentally; yeah yeah, you're strong and all, but sometimes it'd be nice to just have someone else be strong for once.
David, I'm so glad you're back home, but now's the time for recovery; do what you need to do, but push yourself a little bit. I know you can do this.
And to Molly, stop whomping on your mother!
Dave and Shannon -
No one denies that Dave has been through a life altering experience, and that it will takes weeks and months to return to normal (a "new" normal, at that)... But one must take the "middle" path between motivating/encouraging and the healing that will come with a "tincutre of time."
There is more therapy to come, and Dave needs to demonstrate he can get through it - keep reminding him of the fight that was in him when this all started... just a little more to go, then he can look to his future knowing he did everything available to him.
A patient once told me "demons don't like fresh air..." Get him outside (perhaps that trip to the salt air you were dreaming of a while back... why not, his gear is all portable :), he'll start talking and participating again...
love to you both - jormain
Shanon, I was wondering if that's what you were doing with the blog and why there was no update for a while .... waiting for Dave to start blogging for himself.
Tell Dave that we are all excited and anxiously waiting to hear from him on the blog. I check it regularly and have been waiting for Dave to start writing something humorous and witty and to give us a unique glimpse of the world according to Dave McGeoy!!!!! Please tell him that his fan base is eagerly waiting for his return to the blog when he is ready.
P.S. Shannon, you have been doing a fabulous job taking over the udpates during Dave's down time!!! Thank you for keeping us up to speed on everything.
Oh boy, we must be in the late innings looking for a little relief? Hey, be glad this isn't a double header!! Dave, I sure hope you at least had a chance and saw the fireworks at the safe, hope you got to see or hear some of the game as well. We look forward to you getting back on line and letting us know first hand how things are. Shannon you're amazing, don't be hiding how ya feel, it's ok.
Remember this is a fight, keep the energy up! We think of you both daily.
Jeff&Cryss.
Shannon,
I was really hoping you guys would post something on the blog and figured you all needed some settling time. Give Dave some time. He needs it. The best thing he can have is love from all right now. I know it's hard, and that doesn't help, but I've been there too. There ARE better days ahead. Dave has to come to believe this too. He will. The kids and you need him and he'll come back to living as spring starts to show itself more and more. Wish I could transport you guys to Hawaii for a good soak in the sun.
Keep writing the good, bad and the ugly. I hope it's a form of therapy for you.
Has Dave tried on the aloha shirt I sent? Also I did get an email from him. Baby steps. Day by day...
Get a good cry in once in a while, but only like once a day for 10 minutes and that's it. Don't let the sorrow and pain swallow you. You only get 10 minutes..
We are continually praying for all of you.
xoxo,
- Anne
Dear Shanny and Dave:
Just sending lots and lots of love.
Michele
Shann & Dave,
Thanks for keeping us informed on how you are all doing. We send all our love and support your way. Make sure you get a picture or two of the purple cast! Although, I'm sure you won't be forgetting it anytime soon!
XO Cindy
Hey Shannon,
Your writing is so poignant...every time I read the blog, I end up both laughing and crying. You have been amazingly generous with your time and energy and enormous talent as a writer!! I agree with whoever suggested you put all these entries into a book to provide solace to others going through a similar experience. I'm looking forward to Dave writing again- seeing a message from him will be a big "hooray", hurdle cleared, for so many of us. But I will miss reading your posts!
Dear Dave,
Our family is rooting, praying, thinking about you every day. The kids always ask how Ian, Miles, and Molly's dad is doing, every night at bedtime. They don't let me forget to check the blog. We look forward to your steady recovery- I can only imagine how tiring the whole process must be! Just know that it will, sooner than you can imagine, all be so far in the past. We are hoping that you will be able to come with the kids to one of Jacob's baseball games later this spring.
Much LOVE,
The Payne Family
Shannon, Doug, Jacob, Lula
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